Managers impact well-being more than therapists
Take the role as seriously as you'd take being a therapist or doctor
We talk a lot in the tech community about the importance of management and how it’s a different profession with its own learning curve and skills to acquire — not just a new level of being a software engineer.
However I saw a recent study that has me thinking that it’s even more critical for managers to take their development seriously. Thanks to their positions and responsibilities, managers can have enormous impacts on mental health, well-being, and even diversity that rival those of people in helping professions or even employee’s own partners.
The outsized impact of managers
The article that got me thinking about this was “Managers Have Major Impact On Mental Health: How To Lead For Wellbeing” by Tracy Brower in Forbes.
The article shared some significant findings from a recent UKG survey of 2,200 employees in ten countries about work-related stress, mental health, and their feelings about work.
“New data suggests that for almost 70% of people, their manager has more impact on their mental health than their therapist or their doctor—and it’s equal to the impact of their partner. If you’re a leader, you’re right to find this data sobering.”—Managers Have Major Impact On Mental Health: How To Lead For Wellbeing
I believe it. Most of us can draw on our own experiences with our managers to appreciate the magnitude of their impact on our lives. For me, it’s certainly up there with other significant relationships.
What makes managers so influential for well-being?
First, if you’re an employee with a manager, your manager is your main connection to something very important to you — your employer. Your role with your employer might play a major part in your finances, daily life, community, sense of purpose, and how you describe yourself to others. The manager guarding and tending your relationship with the company can have a large impact on all of those parts of your life.
Secondly, in most companies, you have only one manager. It’s not often the case for a person to have, say, five managers and to be able to go to other managers if things aren’t working with one of the managers. It’s normally just the one.
Sure, there are skip-levels, peers, HR and other people you can talk to at work, but that critical role of manager is usually filled by just one person. For many issues, it can be awkward or ill-advised to go around your manager. So, a lot is riding on this one relationship for your success and happiness at work.
At a primal level, it can sometimes feel like your survival depends on this relationship with your manager, because if something went wrong and they fired you, you might find yourself in a crisis situation trying to find a new job.
Furthermore, your manager has an impact not only on your current role but also on your future roles and potentially the course of the rest of your career. In some respects, you are partnering with your manager on investing and growing one of your largest assets — your career.
It’s not surprising that the health of this relationship could have an outsized impact on your well-being.
Managers are the main conduits between you and the company
Managers are like the Panama Canal, with giant oceans on either side (the company, and you as an individual).
Countless things flow between those two “oceans” through the manager: feedback, priorities, performance reviews, compensation changes, promotions, recognition, vacation time, personal issues you might face, issues at the company that involve you, your goals at the company, your goals after your current role, etc.
If this manager-canal between you and the company is healthy, it can aid in positive exchanges between you and the company, but if this relationship is not healthy, it can cause a lot of problems (or necessitate difficult workarounds (like sailing around all of South America, in the case of the Panama Canal).
It can also be healthier for the company when this relationship is healthy, because this helps the company to get the most out of their investment to have the person on their team while minimizing employee turnover, unnecessary turmoil, negative reviews, or disengagement.
The impact of managers spills over into people’s circles outside of work
It’s not surprising then that managers have a large impact on people’s well-being. But it doesn’t end there. How people’s work is going tends to affect other areas of their lives and circles, too.
“Work also has spillover effects. Multiple studies have found when people are happy and satisfied at work, they report less stress and greater joy in their time away from work. They even report they are better parents and partners.”—Should Managers Matter That Much To Mental Health? 3 Critical Considerations
So, in theory, focusing on improving this one key relationship in modern society — that between managers and reports — could have second- and third-order effects in many different areas, such as family, marriages, pets, health, children’s educations, examples children see of their parents at work, and how competent people feel for their other roles besides their jobs.
The importance of manager relationships for diversity and inclusion
The manager-employee relationship can also be impactful for diversity.
DEI is often discussed in the context of hiring and employee resource groups, but strong manager relationships can also be a critical area of focus.
If an employee is facing challenges at a company related to their background, a disability, a non-traditional work history, a difference they have, etc., having a good relationship with their manager, whether they go to their manager directly about the issue or just get indirect help from them, might help to make the difference between the person thriving at work versus having their experience, performance, and tenure at the company overshadowed or diminished by these challenges.
A manager might not be able to relate to the person the way that others with the same background or status could
However, if any of the challenges the person is experiencing touch on areas like being successful, respected, and appreciated at work, or wanting appropriate challenges or so forth, their manager is an obvious person who might be able to make a difference.
It’s definitely not the only solution for diversity and inclusion, but manager relationships should not be overlooked for their impact in helping people with diverse backgrounds and qualities to succeed at the company — for the benefit of the people involved as well as the company, through helping retention, productivity, and being able to benefit from a larger talent pool.
Managers and mental health
It was notable that the survey not only looked at the importance of managers but also how employees ranked their impact relative to that of other professionals.
“Managers have just as much of an impact on people’s mental health as their spouse (both 69%) — and even more of an impact than their doctor (51%) or therapist (41%).”—Mental Health at Work: Managers and Money
Managers might not have gone into management to be concerned with people’s mental health, but for better or worse, they are likely to impact it.
Given the impact managers can have on mental health, it makes even more sense that many of the best practices for management overlap strongly with those for therapy: such as giving people a regular (often weekly) one-on-one meeting where they will be listened to and where they have freedom to bring up whatever is important to them (even if it’s something outside of work).
Be mindful of your responsibility
The UKG study also found that many employees think managers are not adequately aware of the impacts they have.
“The research also found a third of people say their manager fails to recognize their own impact on others’ wellbeing.”—“Managers Have Major Impact On Mental Health: How To Lead For Wellbeing”
It’s your job as a manager — and no one else’s — to be your reports’ main point of contact and advocate within the company. You are the main conduit between the larger company and the individual. If you manage at higher levels, you might also be responsible for the broader culture and management practices at the company.
If you fail in your duties, your reports suffer, the company suffers, and there can be further second-and third-order consequences. Who knows, your bad management might be making someone’s cat very stressed. Or it could be curtailing company profits, leading to turnover, and causing thousands of people to have digestive problems or complain about you over the dinner table.
If it sounds far-fetched, think of any great — or horrible — leaders who touched your work life, and it’s probably easy to confirm that leaders can have a huge impact on a very wide circle of people.
As they say, with power comes responsibility. Take your responsibilities seriously, because if you neglect them, the company and a whole array of people — maybe dozens or even thousands depending on your level in the org — can feel the consequences.
Management is a vocation
It’s been said many times that we should take management more seriously, but the findings in the study above add extra weight to that admonition.
Just like being a therapist, clergy member, medical professional, or even a parent — being a manager puts you in a position where your impact on others will be very great.
As with any vocation, it’s ideal to keep learning as a manager, especially from the best in your field. If you were a medical professional, you’d want to read up-to-date research and seek out cutting-edge findings from the best doctors and institutions to give your patients the best. It’s no different with management.
I’ve found it very eye-opening to learn from leaders far more advanced than I am, such as Roy Rapoport, former Director at Netflix, Douglas Squirrel, Ben Horowitz, and others. There are many leaders out there who are generous enough to share what they’ve learned over years in the field, and it’s worth learning from them rather than trying to independently discover what they’ve learned through trial and error. You can also learn through peer relationships and groups with other leaders.
Just as you wouldn’t want to be the person your surgeon was learning on — you’d prefer for your surgeon to learn from the best and know what they’re doing — most people don’t want to be used for their managers’ learning purposes. They’d like their managers to be skilled, empathetic, and good at their jobs.
The same things that you want from YOUR manager (or any professional with a great impact on you), your reports probably want from you. Put effort into being the best you can be at your role, because a lot is on the line.
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